dear me.

please keep it together tomorrow.

just be proud of her.
let her enjoy her big grown up moment.
enjoy it with her.
know that she's ready, even if you aren't.
that's all that matters.
yes, this chapter is finished. and it was amazing.
but another one is just starting.
so look ahead tomorrow.
be grateful for the memories you made while she was still little.
god knows you took enough pictures to help you remember them.
you can do it.
it's a good day.




*i survived backpack day. not one tear. i'm sure i'll be totally fine.*

beyblade mayhem.

(This is Ethan)

Hello, this is Ethan, (as you know from the earlier parentheses)
and we had a BLAST at Hayden's birthday party.
We watched a good movie,
and it was Beyblade mayhem all weekend.
It was really fun, and I really enjoyed it,
and I'm sure everyone else did too.

Donkey Kong: Why didn't I get to go?
Me: Because you are a made up video game character.
Donkey kong: Aw man.

Ok, that random moment is over. ;)
Now, as I was saying, we had a really fun-

Donkey Kong: Can I go next year?
Me: NO! STOP INTERRUPTING ME! Why did I adopt you…?
Donkey Kong: 'Cause I have a tie!
Me: (groan) Here we go again…


Done with that. So, we had a really fun time.
And, we found a stolen (we think) bike in the bushes.
It was pretty cool.


Donkey Kong: That was MY bike!
Me: STOP!

Sorry, he really gets on my nerves sometimes.
Well, goodbye, this has been another-

Donkey Kong: Disney! 365!
Me: (sigh) See ya.



watch out hollywood. this kid is growing up quick.
i can't wait to say "i knew him when..."
nice reporting job, ethan. you're hired.
keep that notebook handy.

water balloons
sausage & peperoni pizza
beyblades
lemon cake
green machine donut contest
outdoor movies
nacho cheese dip
sleepover in the camper
all of his favorite things. with his favorite friends.
my favorite part (of every birthday):
blowing out the candles. one for every year.



(random birthday message left in the circle. thanks maggie!)

happy birthday hayden!

our life with him is so good.
we feel so thankful and grateful
for each and every one of his
happy and healthy days.
being his mom makes me happier than i could ever explain with words,
so i've tried to explain it with this:





happy 10th birthday to the boy that makes me laugh every day,
and cry on days like today.
i love you so much, buddy.
xoxo, mom

the turning ten project. day 19

this is pretty much how he feels about his birthday tomorrow.
it's pretty much how we feel about it too,
but i don't have a picture of us jumping with excitement.

the turning ten project. day 18

the turning ten project. day 17

i may actually take some serious heat for this one.

who can forget dr. jason running around in his
just-a tiny-bit-smallish astronaut jumpsuit??

who in the world is dr. jason?
and why did he need a headlamp?

i love you, buddy. and your jumpsuit.
i'm going to keep it forever.

the turning ten project. day 16

love these.
the top one still hangs in our family room.
he's growing up and those teeth are growing in.

the turning ten project. day 15

toothless.

the turning ten project. day 14

a boy who loves his dog.
loooves. his. dog.

the turning ten project. day 13

his first day of kindergarten.
he still makes this face.

the turning ten project. day 12

the turning ten project. day 11

an awesomer effort.

this was totally my just do it moment.
i thought that training was the hard part and that on that day,
it would be just another swim.
it wasn't.
but i didn't stop and i wasn't the last one out of the lake.
i'll be your swimmer anytime, brian. thank you.

i had to use this song because:
1. i promised missy and
2. watching them compete was awesome. even more awesomer than rocky.

.75 mile swim. 32 mile bike. 6 mile run.
truly awesomer. good game.
great weekend.

the turning ten project. day 10

this has always been a favorite of mine... another one from b.

it's the last picture i needed to photograph with my iphone before i could post.
(if i wasn't having so much fun digging through old albums,
i may have had time to figure out why my scanner is being so persnickety.)
starting tomorrow, all of the images will come directly from
the archives on my mac. (thank you time machine)

hello world.

eli loves the sound of a vacuum cleaner.
and a really loud range hood fan.
who knew a leaf blower could work this magic??
his daddy is so smart. xoxo

the turning ten project. day 9

the best gift we've ever given him.
a sister to love and torture.
he was pretty comfortable being the center of our family-of-three-world,
but he became such a sweet big brother.

we'll just leave it at that. no need to describe how much they torture each other.
i will say that they remind me a lot of jamie and myself growing up.
and i love her sooo much. so it should all be good.

the turning ten project. day 8

court reminds me so much of him in this picture.

the turning ten project. day 7

the turning ten project. day 6

with his papa, who is also celebrating a big milestone today.
happy 60th. xoxo

the turning ten project. day 5

oh, just another day shooting off rockets with my dad. no biggie.
while i worked pms, they built rockets. they built a lot of rockets.
about .9 FTE worth.

the turning ten project. day 4

this was the start of an entire era.
the backpack. the helmet. the rockets. the jayjays.
when i think of him as a little kid, these are the images in my mind.

the turning ten project. day 3

my favorites from the brookeockenphotography collection.
i keep these in a special place in my heart and on my wall.
he was about 20 months old and constantly on the go.

yesterday, he was going through his old pictures with me
and this is what he said:
"first i was a baby. then a toddler. then a kid.
and now i'm a kid with a phone."
and now he's a kid with a phone. indeed.

the turning ten project. day 2

his dad chose this one.
i couldn't decide between most of them at this age.
when crying turned to smiling.
this tiny face used to make me melt. still does.



my scanner isn't cooperating and
they didn't even have digital cameras at this time in his life.
thank goodness for that stack of photo albums and my iphone.

one more today, just so we can move on.
we've got a lot of years to cover in only 18 days.

the reason this picture is all curled up is because
it's the one that's been hanging above my head in the visor of my car.
pretty much since the day it was printed.
one of my all time favorites of my boys, and it's the only copy.

the turning ten project.

double digits for hayden this month.
ten years old. wow. ten.
i don't even know where to begin.
i'll post a new old picture every day until his birthday,
when we'll celebrate the beginning of him.
and the start of the best journey of our lives.

he loved to be swaddled...he was our baby burrito.
that's why we called him rito.

brian was here.

indian trails, year five.
(and i swear that brian was here.)
i promise you that even though it looks as if he only set up the tent and left,
that was not the case.
the proof is in the pancakes.
i took fewer pictures.
because every time i took my camera out of the camper,
i got something like this:



definitely our hottest and stickiest camping trip. ever.
those without AC were far better sports than i would have been.










the boys and their bikes had the run of the place. they loved this.
the girls were always off playing something somewhere. together.
there was canoeing and swimming and biking and laughing.
many more stories to remember,
and yet another tale of middle of the night storm survival.
easily my most favorite weekend of the entire summer. every summer.
love you all.

on nana's porch.

waiting for her.